into infinity

I think I cut off all my hair to get a grip on losing things
To beat loss to its nasty grave, catch death before its sting

Cuz you know I’m just like you, made of thick and stubborn skin
I’d rather be self-sufficient than try to fit-in

But I’m sitting here now with hot tears down my neck
Memories a mile a minute—trying to stay in check

My Filippo will learn the lesson early: we can’t hold forever the people we love most
But bloodline-spiritline-storyline remain our silent host

How I loved going to bed when you put me to bed
Last night I would have returned the favor instead

But I heard you breathing, the phone resting on your chest
And Grandpa said you smiled, somehow you gave me your best

But you always did, so it wasn't a surprise
My years founded on your prayers and sacrifice

I promise I’ll have trumpets at my wedding, maybe even a door that’s red
I’ll save your mother’s teacups, I’ll treasure the things you said

Though last time you said nothing, you only gripped my hand
Clenched it so tightly, my young bones at your frail command

I cried my way through security
In hazy, dreamlike absurdity

I cried my way across ocean and sea
Everyone a little too nice to me

I remember times when it had been easier to go
You were just a ferry away, we'd play with gingerbread and snow

But this time was different, we both knew
I felt like I was abandoning you

Oh when we love!--when we love, we love hard
But we can't out-love Love, no matter how scarred

Because He loved us first
He gave us this thirst

For surrendering all
We learn to fly in the fall

I know you are finally waking—from the sleep that we called Life
And I long to be as alive as you, and free from earthly strife

But our days are engraven in eternity
And I'll honor each into infinity

As you showed me how
Unto Jesus now