shadow love

I feel like a shadow, peevishly following my corpse through the street.
I don’t have eyes to see you, my hand is a vapor to your touch,
But I sense you reach for me, and it is all too lovely, and it is all too much.

I feel so flat and earthbound in this dark, frail silhouette,
And I’m wary of your hunt within the boundaries of my printless tread.
I do not like this suit of dust, it is uncomfortable; I would go unfed.

But I sense your touch.
It is too lovely.
Too much.

emerson*

She makes me feel so small
And question the value of being tall.
She’s so obliging to my every request;
Energetic condescension at its very best.
Thrilled to come, thrilled to stay,
I watch her running through the day.
She says the most outrageous things,
Curls bounce to every song she sings.
She’s such a poser, a tiny bulldozer—
A warning to those who try to enclose her.
She’s sorry she doesn’t fit in that cage.
It doesn’t suit her three year-old age.

missed

I miss a feeling of wandering from home
I miss the ache of tearing apart
I miss belonging to a body
I miss what warmth entertained my heart

I miss who I was when I kept you in view, but
Of all that I miss, I miss missing you.

the temptress was tempted

My heart turned a key when you walked in the room
All the faces lit-up of everyone that you knew
I was the stranger and mine lit-up too!
You were that good.

My heart peered through my eyes; you ignited the stage
With your knives and your forks beating jazz with a rage.
I felt my heart slipping right out of its cage!
You were that good.

After the music stopped you came to rest
You sat down beside me now tired and blest
But I heard you beating on inside my chest!
You were that good.

I smiled to catch your smile mirroring mine
I was your poison but we both felt fine.
Forgotten She who waits for you, is that a crime?
I was that good.

Creeping...under my fingernails
Drooping...eyelids that jetlag fails
Leaving...me reason excuses veil!
I. Was. Tempted.

reluctant artist

One instrument is not enough
Two languages are unimpressive
The masterpiece is built of bolder stuff
Uninhibited, creative
The painter struggles for new shades
The dancer for his rhythm
The singer climbs each note that fades
The poet pines for what is given
And all I see are endless people
With their talent
Bleeding out
And all I know it’s good to be here
In the moment
Scream and shout
Creative blood boils hot like lava
Bursting forth from chasms deep
It frightens me in all its mystery
Like God arousing me from sleep
I dare not measure with the artists
Their gifts and treasures limitless
I’d rather flicker in the darkness—
Wallow in my shallow mess
For artists so resemble God
In all majestic terror
In fierce design and ground un-trod
They grasp to view His mirror
But I am too reluctant, too lazy and too tame
I falter hoarding all my gifts
As global talent climbs and shifts
I’ll only lust for fame

open mouth

I open my mouth, I open up wide
For you to sink into the cracks
And pour into the hollow bones
To every poisonous place I've tried to hide.

I am hungry, hungry like a newly hatched bird
Wondering how it ever got so high,
Watching all the others fly,
Finding a nest-view of life quite absurd.

For I am just a helpless thing tossed by the wind of this city
And despite what you've proven again to be true,
Despite what you've promised,
I still find the hideous glitter quite pretty.

So purge me of all that I've held up so high,
Adored on the lofty pedastle of my mind.
Feed me with manna and not tainted truth
For the world's lusty stars burn the eyes of this youth.

royal sunday*

Somehow the patterns of my mind collected
As I travelled through my day,
But I never saw you sneaking in,
I never saw you enter,
There beneath the open sky
And all the freakish fray.

Though God knows you were only ever thoughts away,
In any fleeting moment
Of any patient day.
You never were my best thought
By daytime or by night,
But always a morning's fantasy,
An evening's melodic delight.

Somehow the balance of my mind turned over unexpected
As dream-skin hugged reality's bones
And everything just melted.
And all the Venice colours burst,
My bloodlust unaffected.

The ocean smiled as its hands caught the wind
And they both pushed my feet to make sandal-prints there
Where the beat of the drum-circle raced with my heart
And they met with your own in the air.

Your vision kept flashing and tearing apart
As my eyes blinked to see you,
As the sun dazed my mind,
And before long you passed me in lone regal line.
I couldn't ignore you, oh where would I start?

So I turned and I touched you and disturbed your rhythm
With dusty brown words like sand stars in your hair,
To hold for you some faint, lasting confession
And leave its imprint there.

And soon enough I closed my mouth—
And bitter taste upon my tongue,
I ran ecstatic into the sea.
With some odd hunger, wandered aimlessly,
Ever tied like a puppet to my destiny.

Oh to play her Majesty, the Queen, on royal Sunday!
Sweet, limitless, my dreams,
But they'd trap me again one day,
Shoeless walking in the sand,
With empty hope in empty hand.

lioness

Her feet slipped and pattered;
Slowly, haphazard.

She never felt more in danger
Than in the presence of this stranger.

His four feet down, her two feet in--
The more she longed to shed her skin,

The more she raced to keep his stride,
The more she felt he tried to hide,

And now the woods seemed like a cave,
Echoing warnings to the brave.

Though tangled under roots and wire,
His footprints spread like wildfire

And burnt her soles as swift she tread
And left the dead to bury dead.

For more than once she died inside
And wailed for the earth to hide

Her deep within its shifting sands,
Like water drips through open hands.

And more than once she caught a glimpse
Of his golden tail as evidence

To warm her heart and push her deeper
Into a jungle that could not keep her.

Then suddenly the light went black--
Aware there was no going back--

She sank into the cold, wet ground
And hurled a most ferocious sound

From deep inside that startled her
In wordless patterns, familiar.

And suddenly the Lion appeared
Like radiant fire and darkness cleared

As he bid it die, as he bid it flee
As he roared in awful majesty!

And stooping down to me he wept,
For never a girl so frightened crept--

Stripped of all her bravery,
Helpless in her slavery.

I gasped to breathe the breath he gave--
Released myself that he could save

My carcass collapsed upon his mane
And with my tears flowed all my pain.

I tried to speak, tried to explain.
My tongue was numb, it moved in vain.

He silenced me in tenderness
And all he said was, LIONESS.

thoughts in captivity

My time is ripe but my hour is dim--there is poison in my bone.
My swell is clean then I crash and burn and my thoughts stand naked, alone.

Oh my thoughts they look a lot like fears, a lot like trails, a lot like tears
--fleeting moments and hopeful years!

My time is bitter but my hour is sweet--I'm a wretch in the lap of peace.
My creep is frail and my coat is shedding; scaley skin in painful release.

Oh my thoughts they come disguized as sages, disguised as lovers; freaking golden cages!
--choking ideas, battles of the ages.

Oh that I would take them captive, instead they trap me behind bars.
Oh to feel the earth beneath me and grasp at life under the stars!

For there my lines were sewn and written, welded in their shining rock.
And there Love gave me all His blessing when I wailed for the breath of God.

Oh my thoughts they sound a lot like questions, a lot like shouting, a lot like digestion
--patient processing of information!

Oh that I would take them captive and plunge them in the deepest sea!
For then I think I could discover why God ever thought of me.