blue dog

The day you died

Blue Dog fell

I don't know how

A favorite painting knows

When its admirer has departed

But I swear

He knew

When I saw the loosened nail

And his portrait

Face down

In reverence 

Across your chair

super bloom (for californian lovers)

You're not crazy

He cared about you

He just

Didn't

Care

Enough 

He gave you sun

Without rain

So you think you are a desert

But

What you don't know 

Is that tomorrow the torrent will cleanse you

And under your skin

Your thirsty seed

Will rise

A Super Bloom

once i reached for the stars

No

Actually 

Yes

You confessed

When I asked about tattoos 

You pointed to three dots

Pinpricks

A quiet trinity around your head

A constellation across the map of your skin

I touched one black star

A reminder that once

Your body waged war inside of you

Once

You were marked on the operating table

Once 

You suffered 

And survived

I thought they were the loveliest tattoos 

I'd ever seen

And now

When I lay my head upon its only pillow 

And gaze longingly at evening's stars

They all seem too bright

They all seem too far

Like you

What I would give

To kiss your dark stars

Goodnight 

my broken heart is still your home

So

It's just you and I 

Again

I said 

To God

When the other gentleman 

Walked out of my heart

And left us with enough space 

To do cartwheels 

And repaint the walls

And see each other from every crack

Of rainbow light

Seeping through its still pulsing skin

A promise

After the flood

Where the new landscape seems

Quiet

And strange

And my patience is tried

By its slow fertility 

So

Here we are

Again

no beggar

I feel our bond is breaking 

Like a trampled flower

Before it even blooms

The truth is

We were a bastard seed

The truth is

You were born to poverty

Twice over

And I 

I know the wealth I hold

Under these pauper's clothes

I thought I would gently undress

Lest my riches blind you

Lest you feel unworthy

Because no one is worthy

But you are a strange sort of thief

Who would not steal my heart

Not when I gave it to you on a silver platter

Not when I wrapped it in gold

I suppose I'm to blame

For wearing a disguise 

But alas

I am no beggar 

therapy

If these tears could speak

What would they say

He asked

Before the torrent 

Continued

To rage

Before he uttered 

I give up

Before I realized

My tears never spoke to me

And I felt my own

Betrayal 

to the italian coffee vendors on the birth of their son

Today at the farmer's market
Rolled-out-of-bed as I was
Sunglass-clad despite the grey mist
I witnessed a sight better than church
Or more like it
The Greek man who sold cheese
Came to hug you
Like a brother's was his embrace
The lesbian mothers
Offered you their son's outgrown clothes
Exchanging motherly glows
My aunt brought heart-shaped cookies for the girls
Who huddled under the booth
Their makeshift cave
Passing Italian whispers between nibbles
Everyone missed you last week
And everyone knew why you were gone
I wish I could capture their joy in a bottle
And drink it on the day my soul runs dry